Never Underestimate A Chunin
by Kiterie
Summary: Gift Exchange KakaIru, GenmaRaidou Iruka gets to torment Genma. This is a gift for Durgas she wanted LEDs, a platypus, a gaming survival guide, a shiny ribbon, and The Universe Hates Me Doesn't It YAOI implied. yaoi. ygallery. net view367202


It was an odd tradition among the jounin and rarely was anyone other than fellow jounin allowed in on the fun. Mostly because they'd discovered few others were crazy enough to think of really good gifts. They decided it took a certain kind of broken to find the right gift to torment their friends with and most others really just weren't up to the task.

So when Kakashi insisted to Genma that Iruka be allowed to come, Genma had his doubts. He believed the chunin to be one of the most sane, rational, well balanced shinobi he knew. But you didn't really argue with Kakashi. More importantly you did not under any circumstances tell the crazy copy-nin his boyfriend couldn't come to the annual Christmas party. Why? Not because he'd hurt you. Which he might. But rather it was because Kakashi had come up with the most insane of all gifts. The sacred survival guide.

So when he was 'asked' if Iruka could come. He said yes and shoved those doubts into the deepest darkest corner of his mind. Which is very deep and very dark under normal circumstances and the corners of which held monsters that were best left where none could find them. Maybe if he was lucky they would eat his doubts.

Iruka grinned as he very carefully wrapped the gift. He was surprised when Kakashi invited him along. It was common knowledge the tradition existed and it was also an established fact that outsiders weren't really welcome. If you weren't a jounin, you were an outsider at this particular event.

Of course Iruka was more than confident his gift would fit in perfectly. He was pretty damn sure whoever got stuck with it was going to wish they were allowed to seek revenge.

He methodically tied the light blue ribbon on the box before scrawling "Merry Christmas" on the top and tucking it into the bag with the cookies and sake.

Kami he was determined to prove to those self-righteous jounin that a chunin could be just as clever and, well, down right evil when they wanted to be.

Kakashi blew up the inflatable Christmas Tree before setting out the booze and junk food. Then he pulled out the rope lights and and strung them around the chairs and around the legs of the table. Various other obnoxious ornaments came out of the 3 boxes he'd gotten from Genma.

Not only was it tradition to have the cheesy party it was tradition to pass the honor of hosting it around. Genma had it last year and Kakashi drew the short straw this year. They pretended to hate getting stuck with it but the sulking was just for show.

Next he pulled out the Santa coat and hat and smirked as he put them on and checked out his reflection in the mirror. Walking back into the living room he grinned at his handy work and wondered when Iruka would get there.

Anko stared, horrified but highly amused at the plastic, 'dancing' flowers. The noise coming from them was some high pitched version of jingle bells. Inoichi grinned at her from across the table.

"Where in all that is sacred did you find this?"

"A little old man came into my shop and insisted I needed them because they would be a hot seller around the holidays. I bought one to humor him and because I knew the perfect place for it."

"I am so burying this after the holidays."

"Just don't forget you have to keep it on your window sill until your days are up. 24 days of lovely music for you."

"If any of you come over and press that damn button while I'm sleeping I am not responsible for my actions."

Kurenai flicked the clip on bell earrings that Asuma was wearing. "Could be worse Anko," she snickered.

"True. Even if it's only for the next 3 days that one is going to be fun. Even with a genjutsu the jingling is going to be entertaining."

"I'm so lucky! I got 'the book' and I get to mess with Asuma," she said grinning and flicking through the book. She'd revised 'Never brag about how bad ass you are, there is always a level 60 dragon around the corner with ketch-up.' to read "Never brag about how bad ass you are, there is always a gang of S-class missing nin around the corner ready to gang rape you.' Really she thought it was far more clever than Tsunade's attempt last year, when 'Bring the game master cookies, bribery works' became 'Bring the Hokage sake, bribery works.'

"So who's the next victim?" Kakashi asked, flicking one of the brightly colored ribbons adorning his hair. Kurenai had a wicked sense of humor, she knew the odds were a guy would end up with the gift. Oh well, 2 days wasn't really that long.

"I believe we're up to 4 and 23," Tsunade said, tossing another shot back. Anything to forget the Santa bikini she was wearing. She was also privately thanking any god listening that she had drawn #1.

"4 always was my lucky number," Iruka chuckled. "So who's got it?'

"Genma that's you," Shizune said as she poked him.

"Huh? Oh!" He sat up handed the box that was in his lap to Iruka who returned the gesture by handing him his own nicely wrapped package.

"You want to open first or should I?" the chunin asked smirking.

"You can open yours first."

Iruka carefully pulled the top off the box and tossed the tissue paper on the table. "How cute! What is it though?"

"It's called a platypus and I really thought when I ordered it that it would be something a bit different. Anyways it plays some obnoxious Christmas tune. I think you should have to keep it in your classroom."

"For the entire 23 days?" Iruka raised an eyebrow and then smiled. "I suppose that's only fair." He leaned back and snuggled the fuzzy creature which immediately began playing The 12 days of Christmas.

Genma yawned and leaned back against Raidou as he opened his gift. "What is this supposed to be?" he asked pulling the green and red fabric out of the box.

"It's your new sweater Genma-san. I made it myself. And I'll be nice. You can take it off after the party if you can convince somebody to take it off you," Iruka said as he slowly got to his feet.

"It looks like a straight jacket.."

"That would be because it is."

"But how am I supposed to you know... uh" He spared a glance at the various women in the room before continuing. "Eat or drink."

"You'll just have to get help now won't you?"

Genma started to protest but about 5 pairs of hands were suddenly helping him into his new attire while the entire room erupted in laughter. When the dust settled Genma sat with his arms securely fastened behind his back. Iruka flicked a switch and the LEDs on the thing lit up to write MERRY X-MAS across the arms and the matching hat lit up to resemble a mishapen Christmas tree.

"The universe hates me doesn't it...?" Genma muttered.

"That's what you get for helping them get me in a bikini last year," Raidou said smiling. "Although if you want me to help you out of this you're really, really gonna have to do some begging."

Iruka hugged his plushy and grinned, "And Genma? Never underestimate a chunin." 


End file.
